you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
