why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize