She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
