just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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