Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
