so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
