The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
