remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He did a backflip because drugs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
