he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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