My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As shirtless as possible
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
