oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
