Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
