yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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