all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
