I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
