I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
