guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
