that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
