I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
sick fucks of a feather flock together
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
