Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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