we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
