I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
