it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
