normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
