My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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