the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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