what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
