Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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