Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
