Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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