just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
