I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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