i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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