Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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