I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
