Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
