five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
