So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
