I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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