like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize