Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
