Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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