if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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