Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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