she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
