Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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