If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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