She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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