I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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