No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
