addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
