Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize