The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
