Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
