I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
