its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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