I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
