3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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