So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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