One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
