Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
