Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
